Self-Esteem

March 11, 1999

For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God.

Hebrews

We studied and worked with the topic Self-Esteem during the week; readings brought in by members are included above. However, we did not discuss this topic during the meeting because members, still deeply concerned over the March 8th article in the Christian Science Sentinel, "Perspective on Homosexuality", wanted to reassess the focus of our Christian Science Group. Interestingly, half-way through the meeting one member said we were not discussing Self-Esteem, we were just practicing it.

We were all clear that the article is an atrocity, an outrageous example of hate literature. Some initially defended those who perpetrated it as not knowing any better; but the same can be said of any sinner. We all got the point that homophobia can be cured only if it is correctly identified as sin.

One member who was involved with Gay People In Christian Science in the late 70's and early 80's recalled fondly their militant, activist approach which included confrontation of church officials, liberationist testimonies at branches, writing and world wide distribution of the pamphlet "Gay People in Christian Science?"(see Articles section), and the events at the 1980 Annual Meeting of The Mother Church. He felt we needed to refocus our present group into a Gay caucus, restricting membership to Lesbians and Gay men, and to hold the Christian Science Movement to account, acting as a watch dog until they reform.

Reactions of those present varied:

  • A member who was also involved in the earlier group thought it fair to recount some of its downsides. The group was controlled by a person whom we willingly submitted to because of his expertise in protest activities. He drove away all those who did not share his vision. There was little spiritual comfort for those abused at churches or suffering from internalized homophobia. The problem was always "out there". The group slowly dried up and suspended meetings after 3 or 4 years.
  • Some members felt no form of direct confrontation with The Mother Church would succeed since the article was published, they felt, to placate big bucks right-wing contributors. Anything we would say or do would have zilch effect.
  • Those who had gone along thinking/feeling that the homophobia at headquarters was diminishing were shocked at the article's unrelenting message. The one good result was that they owned their own sin of having leaned on a "broken reed"of hope rather than the "sustaining infinite"(see Science and Health, pg. 66:6-7 and vii:1-2). This whole episode was a call to prayer, which might or might not ultimate in some physical action.
  • One member welcomed the article. He observed that it was only after the pamphlet was sent around the world in 1979-1980 that The Mother Church and many of its branches institutionalized their homophobia by excluding Gay men and Lesbians from membership. This was a stage in the healing and we cannot tell exactly how chemicalization will look . A right idea will not be stopped. Our work, said he, "The divinity of man — i.e., his oneness and wholeness—is established; it needs only to be practiced"(see Science and Health, pg. 174:20-21).
The example of how an openly Gay person came to be taken into membership in a local branch was recalled. When this person and friends worked to clear off their own internalized homophobia — after one put it, "What is it in us that makes us feel we merit this exclusion?"— the membership came through without a hitch, after two earlier unsuccessful attempts.

We discussed the history of the present group. It was founded in 1986 to provide a space for study and prayerful work on phenomena usually excluded from consideration in the authorized branches. This includes issues of sexuality but is by no means restricted to that. Members felt the March 8th article calls for a strong response, but as students of Christian Science this can mean a great variety of action or non-action, all growing from prayerful consideration.

One member asked those present to say what they get out of participation in the group. Here's a summary of responses:

  • One came into Science after coming to one of our meetings. We introduced him to the various functions and structures of the church — Sunday and Wednesday meetings, the Lesson, practitioners, class instruction.
  • Another finds his participation acts as a goad to study and prayer during the week. He often shares his healings and insights arising from this work at local branch church Wednesday meetings.
  • Two non-Gay members feel they are heard and cared for in our group and do not feel this at local branch churches.
  • Another member was reactivated in Christian Science after being alienated since graduating from Sunday School. He is now a Mother Church member.
  • Another member said, "I didn't come here about sex. That I have down pat. I came here to grow in Science."
  • One of those present at the founding of the group saw it as providing him and others with a simple, non-intrusive infrastructure to support their individual creativity and demonstration. Each member would ideally give metaphysical underpinning to whatever others are working on or working through and loving witness to the results.
Since, perhaps unremarkably, there seem to be about as many visions of what the meeting is about as there are those who meet, we decided to take the topic Purpose of Group home with us for further reflection.

The Bible

After this there was a feast of the Jews; and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is at Jerusalem by the sheep market a pool, which is called in the Hebrew tongue Bethesda, having five porches. In these lay a great multitude of impotent folk, of blind, halt, withered, waiting for the moving of the water. For an angel went down at a certain season into the pool, and troubled the water: whosoever then first after the troubling of the water stepped in was made whole of whatsoever disease he had. And a certain man was there, which had an infirmity thirty and eight years. When Jesus saw him lie, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case, he saith unto him, Wilt thou be made whole? The impotent man answered him, Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool: but while I am coming, another steppeth down before me. Jesus saith unto him, Rise, take up thy bed, and walk. And immediately the man was made whole, and took up his bed, and walked: and on the same day was the sabbath.

And therefore did the Jews persecute Jesus, and sought to slay him, because he had done these things on the sabbath day. #But Jesus answered them, My Father worketh hitherto, and I work.

I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.

Jesus answered and said unto them, Though I bear record of myself, yet my record is true: for I know whence I came, and whither I go; but ye cannot tell whence I come, and whither I go.

Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, by Mary Baker Eddy

In healing the sick and sinning, Jesus elaborated the fact that the healing effect followed the understanding of the divine Principle and of the Christ-spirit which governed the corporeal Jesus. For this Principle there is no dynasty, no ecclesiastical monopoly. Its only crowned head is immortal sovereignty.

Indeed, the phrase infinite form involves a contradiction of terms. Finite man cannot be the image and likeness of the infinite God. A mortal, corporeal, or finite conception of God cannot embrace the glories of limitless, incorporeal Life and Love. Hence the unsatisfied human craving for something better, higher, holier, than is afforded by a material belief in a physical God and man. The insufficiency of this belief to supply the true idea proves the falsity of material belief.

Man is more than a material form with a mind inside, which must escape from its environments in order to be immortal. Man reflects infinity, and this reflection is the true idea of God.

God expresses in man the infinite idea forever developing itself, broadening and rising higher and higher from a boundless basis. Mind manifests all that exists in the infinitude of Truth. We know no more of man as the true divine image and likeness, than we know of God.

The infinite Principle is reflected by the infinite idea and spiritual individuality, but the material so-called senses have no cognizance of either Principle or its idea. The human capacities are enlarged and perfected in proportion as humanity gains the true conception of man and God.

In divine Science, man is the true image of God. The divine nature was best expressed in Christ Jesus, who threw upon mortals the truer reflection of God and lifted their lives higher than their poor thought-models would allow,—thoughts which presented man as fallen, sick, sinning, and dying. The Christlike understanding of scientific being and divine healing includes a perfect Principle and idea,—perfect God and perfect man,—as the basis of thought and demonstration.

Mortal man has made a covenant with his eyes to belittle Deity with human conceptions.

Progress takes off human shackles. The finite must yield to the infinite. Advancing to a higher plane of action, thought rises from the material sense to the spiritual, from the scholastic to the inspirational, and from the mortal to the immortal. All things are created spiritually. Mind, not matter, is the creator. Love, the divine Principle, is the Father and Mother of the universe, including man.

Few persons comprehend what Christian Science means by the word reflection. To himself, mortal and material man seems to be substance, but his sense of substance involves error and therefore is material, temporal.

On the other hand, the immortal, spiritual man is really substantial, and reflects the eternal substance, or Spirit, which mortals hope for. He reflects the divine, which constitutes the only real and eternal entity. This reflection seems to mortal sense transcendental, because the spiritual man's substantiality transcends mortal vision and is revealed only through divine Science.

The real man being linked by Science to his Maker, mortals need only turn from sin and lose sight of mortal selfhood to find Christ, the real man and his relation to God, and to recognize the divine sonship.

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