As we closed last week the ground seemed to be opening under our feet, but some solid metaphysical work and telephone conversations soothed feelings and an even larger group assembled this week. Few came lacking in contentiousness but ongoing work at the meeting combined with a strict chairperson — keeping the focus on the Science of what we were discussing — freed up the energies to propel thought and feeling.

A member started us off with an explanation of the terminology, "church suffering, militant, and triumphant". It is a Roman Catholic concept concerning human souls respectively in purgatory, on earth, and in Heaven. Mary Baker Eddy uses the terms several times in Prose Works but as usual, cuts through the time-worn meaning to find Heaven just where earth is thought to be. "No longer are we of the church militant, but of the church triumphant; and with Job of old we exclaim, ' Yet in my flesh shall I see God,' " (Pulpit And Press, p. 3:18-20).

Another member said he'd been working with the idea of finding the "spiritual cognates" of the mortal belief in militancy. He saw desirable qualities like clarity and incisiveness as relating to true militancy. He also reached out for the dedication, fire and passion he felt some soldiers ("mili" means "soldier" in Latin) exhibited for their leader, (for instance Napoleon or even Patton). Finally, he saw the flow as coming from God to man — his militancy was simply to clear the channels for this to occur. Mrs. Eddy describes something like this in her autobiography: "He whom my affections had diligently sought was as the One 'altogether lovely,' as 'the chiefest,' the only, 'among ten thousand,' " (Retrospection And Introspection, p. 23:18-20).

Several members pointed out that the struggle or militancy in Science is always within our own consciousness. One of the great lessons of psychology is the rediscovery of the power and horror of so-called "projection". When we are unwilling to face our own evil propensities we suppress them and they almost magically pop up out there in others! Some psychologists — we're not even talking of Christian Scientists yet — feel ninety-five percent of problems we have with others are from this source — projection of our own, unfaced evil. The student of Science would move the percent to one hundred. Jesus outlined the problem and its solution in Matthew 7:4-5 when he recommends we cast the beam out of our eye in order to see clearly to help our brother with his mote.

A problem along these lines came up for two of our members during the week. One of them brought up what seemed the ulterior motive held by an acquaintance of both. Fortunately, our listening member saw that he too held similar motives and was able to own them in the company of the other member. Apparently this honesty freed the member who had brought up the problem in the first place to admit his own offence in this regard. They both had seen deep into troubles that had beset them for decades and healing could proceed. They could also feel a lot friendlier to the third party. Is there perhaps the hint of a lesson here for those caught in the Balkans conflict or troubles at The Mother Church or even — drat — for Gay people and all the homophobia?

A member recounted a testimony he had heard at a branch church Wednesday. The testifier was out walking when a police car raced up and several policemen wrestled him to the ground and handcuffed him. One of them jumped high and landed on the back of the testifier's knee. Then they threw him in the squad car. He was a wreck but knew he had to immediately deny the picture and affirm the total presence of God or Love. As he did this his severely injured knee stopped throbbing and seemed healed but he relaxed a bit and soon found himself swept away by resentment, anger and self-righteousness. The knee problem came back full force. He saw that he must completely acknowledge the operation of divinity alone. Good alone was in charge. Pretty soon the knee was OK and he was released with apologies. He learned so much from the incident that he bore no lingering resentment and repeated the line from Shakespeare, "Sweet are the uses of adversity," which Mrs. Eddy endorses.

Reflecting on this healing a member stated that Gay people cannot be ethnically cleansed from The Mother Church or its branches since church is Truth, Love and Principle — the constituents of man as well. Our church is one Mind only, not a collection of mortals. We can see the present chemicalization as the mortal concomitant of the healing of homophobia in ourselves and the world. It is the oneness of Being that militates the outcome, not some half way impertinence, or human calculation.

Discussion turned to whether human action is ever necessary or prayer alone is the way to proceed in Science. There were proponents on both sides but some of us saw this as a false distinction. Prayer in Science is the realization of God's presence as all substance and action. With this firmly established all action is divine, and human as well. The real problem, said one, is where you place the "I". Is it the personal ego or is it God? Letting the "I" retreat into the one Ego, prayer and action will proceed harmoniously. If however one tries to use his personal sense of things to manipulate thought and action, with only perfunctory reference to Deity, the whole project will be on shaky ground.

Mrs. Eddy advises that "human will should be exercised only in subordination to Truth," (Science and Health, p. 206:4). As we argued along about what to do or not to do with regard to the church hierarchy's stance on homosexuality, it became clear that we each will have our own symbolism representative of the underlying truths we adhere to. It might not be helpful to comment on another's activities, but we can and should support the divine impulse driving such activities. That would be real militancy.

So we survived, but couldn't come up with a topic for next week that all agreed to. Therefor we'll have no topic next week and see what comes up.