The problem with pride is it posits a separation between God and man — it is after all one of the "seven deadly sins". We knew we were playing with fire with this topic. It took one of our non-Gay members to point out however that what we wanted to see here — call it what you want — was an appropriate sense of self-worth, not arrogance and haughtiness, the standard synonyms for sinful pride. Other minorities and women have had to gather enough self-esteem to at least function in the world. Think of the struggles undertaken by African Americans, women and even Christian Scientists to make themselves and the world aware of their personhood.

One member started us off with readings from an article entitled "Comparison To Barmaids" (see the second reference to Miscellaneous Writings above). Mrs. Eddy shows here several aspects of pride. She certainly defends Christian Scientists and also women against the slanders perpetrated upon them in a newspaper article. As always she reflects deeply upon the things of Spirit — the true undergirding for any real self-esteem. She also makes some statements about barmaids which today must be regarded as insensitive and politically incorrect. One member pointed out that we might see this latter as "sin" today, but it was the way people thought back then.. As far as he was concerned, both barmaids and Christian Scientists are in the same business — i. e., trying to lessen pain!

The group was large and bursting with things to say — it was hard to get it all down — but here is a summary of the larger themes:

• In pride, the main thing to beware of is self deification. We operate from our personal egos most of the time and must try often during the day to reach out to and reflect the one Ego, thus lessening prideful separateness and fostering altruism.
• The aim of any attempt at self-esteem should be authenticity, being real and not phony.
• The Bible, which has been used to oppress African Americans, women and Gay people based on statements scattered through it, can be turned around completely and seen as an instrument of liberation. (This point was made by Irene Monroe, a student assistant to Peter Gomes of Harvard Divinity School on the latest "In The Life" program on PBS.) The same applies to our Leader's writings — we can stop looking for some pro or con statement about minorities — just human opinions anyway — and take the whole message as our sufficient guide to a proper assessment of our worth.
• So much Gay self-esteem seems to ride on whether being Gay is from genes, upbringing, choice, or even astrology. For the student of Christian Science all such "causes" are secondary, for they are one and all dualistic human beliefs, which need to be returned to the Father, — i. e., one Cause and effect. An MCC banner in the Gay Pride March in New York proclaimed "God made you queer". Exactly. God made us all eternal, infinite, unique and perfect. How queer that is to mortal mind.
• The so called family roles discerned by family therapists and other workers in the alcoholism field, for instance John Bradshaw, could be used to work with Gay people who have grown up in an abusive heterosexist family and society. These roles are the hero, overachiever, the lost child, one who hides out a lot, the mascot, a compulsive entertainer, and the scapegoat, one who goes out of his way to attract trouble. The point of these roles is to take the focus off the really painful problems caused by the sick family member — i. e., the alcoholic or hetersexist — and secure survival. Real healing requires ripping away the covering from this sham and working on the underlying problems. Christian Science is perfectly adequate to this task as long as the sufferer isn't kidding himself with some crazy family role.
• The role of Gay people in the salvation of the world was much discussed in the early days of the Movement, after Stonewall (1969) but went underground as hedonism and commercial interests predominated in the 70's and 80's. Some spirituality crept back in after the onset of AIDS but recently many workshops and books are coming to the fore looking at the role of Gay people in the advancement of the wider culture. This will unquestionably be a huge topic in coming years and our group will stay on top of it as it unfolds. Christian Scientists can do wonderful work here. One member for instance reported that in preparing to watch the Gay Pride March this year he took a hint from Margaet Laird in her book "The Fourth Dimension Of Spirit" and dislocated the March in matter and relocated it in Mind. He felt a much greater sense of harmony and beauty in this year's event as against the one last year which seemed "pain on parade".

Several healings were reported:

• One member in a relationship has come to the conclusion that he has to keep — indeed wants to keep — God first. While he loves his friend, that bond is secondary to the joyous feeling of oneness he has with God.
• Another member described his practice as prayer and deep yearning for righteousness. He often runs an inventory of undesirable traits he asks God to remove. He has recently been participating in Gay men's spirituality groups on the East and West coasts. They are very much like Promise Keeper functions but with less hugging and crying and more drumming. He has prayed over the years to be located where God can best use him and recently found a reasonably priced apartment in Manhattan offered him out of the blue.
• Another member, in the midst of watching Dawson's Creek, an evening soap opera which includes the struggles of a Gay teenager to come out, became so distressed at the young man's plight and memories of his own teen years that he poured scalding water over his leg instead of into a tea pot. He knew instantly that the state of his thought was important and recalled Mrs. Eddy's wry statement in Science and Health, "You say, "I have burned my finger." This is an exact statement, more exact than you suppose; for mortal mind, and not matter, burns it," (pg. 161:3-5). The pain was intense but he stayed with the Truth and within a few minutes there was no evidence of the problem and his memories were also drained of their hurtful content.
• Another member was dismissed as unacceptably needy after exposing a deep level of loneliness to a friend. It hurt, of course, but afterwards our member reversed the verdict with Science, realizing man's total acceptability to God. The next day there were a number of unexpected occurrences of loving care and support.
• Another member tried to give some of his non-Christian Scientist business partners a boost with some absolute statements of Truth and found them laughably uncomprehending. They probably thought he was crazy. He decided to live an incoming pair of business deals at the I Genesis level while letting them alone, to live the deals at the II Genesis level. The latter is nothing more than a belief about the former, so there was no conflict. Things turned out wonderfully — relationships previously frayed were repaired, the paperwork progressed rapidly and everyone seemed happy. This is a most important demonstration to our member, because he has always felt he had to convince others of the Truth. He now sees this as mortals convincing mortals, a hopeless task. After this, he is much more inclined to retreat into the Shekinah, where real power pertains, and whence he can see the divinity of all.

We will take on Right Activity for next week.