As our members arrived at the Gay and Lesbian Center, we saw the overflow crowd attending a seminar convened by the New York Times to discuss Gay Fathering. We were conscious of this upcoming meeting when we set our topic last week.

After the readings, our meeting focused on the role of the father in child rearing. At the age of four months, the baby's attention begins to shift from the mother to the father, who slowly leads the child out of an overly close relationship with the mother and forward into the world.

As society has progressed, the roles assigned to biological men and women have changed to the extent that both sexes can now reflect the needed mothering and fathering energies. Thus, single and Gay parenthood are entirely feasible — with the proviso that both energies are mediated to the child.

Since our meeting is devoted to living the spiritual reality of whatever the material senses behold, we tried to keep firmly in mind as we proceeded with the above and with what follows, the fact in Science that our real Father-Mother is God, the source and condition of all being. This clarity permitted us to go on to explore the glories and traumas of childhood and upbringing without being overwhelmed. Here are summaries of some memories shared — using the actual words of the member, where possible:

1) One was a Depression baby, tied to his mother by the absence of his father who had to hold a number of jobs to support the family. He had little sense of a father. His mother was protective and quite critical. He had trouble adjusting to interactions with the outside world and this was compounded after his mother spread the news that an older boy had sexually abused him, making him an object of derision. In short, his life was a living hell. Eventually he escaped the neighborhood and seemed to be on the way to a Hollywood career, but this was cut short by drugs and alcohol. Relief finally came in the form of a lover who showed him ways to cope and encouraged in him an independence that his father was not available to do. After the lover's passing, he became interested in Christian Science and slowly allowed God to take on the role of ever-present guide to human action.

2) Another had a mother who was a Christian Science practitioner and a father who was a highly successful businessman. The latter was often available for fun and games with the kids, but sadly became more troubled by alcoholism as time went on. The mother was very strong, with an outstanding record of healings in even the most dire circumstances. Our member's solid adherence to Science grew from this example but the unavailability of a father in practical ways had the effect of giving him a rich fantasy and artistic life but perhaps more trouble than necessary with relationships and the business world.

3) Another was brought up by a mentally ill mother and an emotionally shut down father, both of whom were alcoholics. Needless to say, relationships of any kind were impaired by this atmosphere and he barely scraped through school with a lot of ducking and weaving and hiding out. He found Christian Science during graduate school and this radicalized his life to such an extent that he was able to enter the army, get some practical experience with people and then go on to a quite demanding career in international business. He even managed a few fairly rewarding romantic liaisons. He is still quite conflicted about relationships but was astonished to find a great deal of compassion for his parents during our work on the topic this week. He felt loving and forgiving towards his manic depressive mother, doing her best to raise three kids during the war and his sad musician father, reduced to dull accounting work during the day with only occasional cocktail party clarinet playing to remind him of his real love.

4) Another had a verbally abusive mother but was often comforted by her father. Later she found refuge from the troubles of the world with a succession of sugar daddies. Now that she is studying Science she finds her comfort there and achieves much satisfaction working with animals.

5) Another had an idyllic childhood — both his mother and father were warm and available. He was particularly close to his father and they maintained the closeness up to the father's passing. After this our member returned to his study of Christian Science which has helped assuage the loneliness he often feels when looking back to his early years.

We all got courage from the lives of Jesus, who may not have had a father during his formative years, and Mary Baker Eddy, whose father was severe. Perhaps these seemingly poor conditions helped them discern and depend on the real Father, God.

We were not used to sharing at the level we touched in this meeting and were running out of time as we started taking up the archetypal images of the father. We briefly referred to the almost divine power being ascribed to Pope John Paul II and Ronald Reagan — new books are out on both — as well as Alan Greenspan, who will decide on interest rate levels Tuesday. The new movie "American Beauty" with its examples of parenting, particularly fathering, got some attention.

Three healing were reported, the two first from an internet friend of the group.

1) After suffering piles off and on for years our friend arranged an appointment with a surgeon. In the interim he decided to try Science on the problem and worked with the idea that there is no obstruction in Love. He reasoned he could not express an obstruction in reflecting Love. Suddenly he was free. He kept the appointment with the doctor who said he saw no evidence that such a problem had ever existed.

2) He also had had irritable bowel syndrome for some time before he confronted it with Science. He saw it could have no cause, that he could not suffer from diet or incurability. Since this belief is a common one in the Gay community, it was handled from that standpoint as well. He was healed and today is free to eat and do anything without ill effects.

3) A member's back went out during a yoga class. He went right to Love. He worked with an idea he remembered from something Louise Hay said—that lower back has to do with support — so he particularly focused on Love alone as his support. Love constructs a better body, he found himself thinking (see Science and Health, p. 425: 23-26). He called a practitioner who said immediately, "Soar and sing," a phrase from Hymn 30 in the Christian Science Hymnal. As the practitioner worked, he thought, "Why, an old belief like this back problem," (he used to have these attacks all the time), "is nothing more than mortal language for my pre-existence." The problem quickly faded and sciatic pains of long standing dropped away as well.

As hinted above, we decided to go on with our work on The Father. This will be our topic again next week.