After the readings, we quickly established that although family is one of those institutions widely idealized and romanticized as altogether good, recent trends in research and therapy have revealed it as a center for every imaginable vice and abuse. The Christian Science key to unraveling this seeming conundrum is that any human concept per se is as bad as it is good. Such concepts always require translation into the underlying divine idea before they can unfold in harmonious ways.

Most of us conceded that we still craved the warmth, acceptance and safety we imagined were available in family life — although we had experienced only moments of such bliss in our own families long ago.

A member pointed out that we needn't restrict our discussion to our biological families, since many groupings in our present situations are recreations of early family motifs or attempts to perfect these where deficient. Perhaps our fantasies about the boss are really about our father; maybe our lover is just mother doing a re-run; and those troubled branch members are the teen age after school bashers we loved so dearly. We need to spot these similarities to get clear how we're now living family and see what work is necessary in Science to bring out real family.

Another member, who read from Miscellaneous Writings, p. 104 (see readings), opened up a discussion of individuality vs. family; they seem at odds, at least on the human belief level. We could all think of times when the elders squashed us or we adhered to some togetherness that impeded our own individuation. But some could also think of times when participating with others in family type situations promoted their growth as individuals, standing tall in the face of opposition. Christian Science maintains that each one of us is his own family, as infinite, eternal idea including all others as perfect ideas as well. Our own sense of family — whether biological or surrogate — is our demonstration of how we're living God, the source and condition of all being.

The family experiences of Christ Jesus and Mary Baker Eddy came to mind. Both had to leave behind biological family and turn to work families to assist their missions. Their followers both helped and dragged them down; they had finally to turn to a full fledged dependence on their own divine empowerment and joy. In the end no biological or specially created family could provide what was needed.

A member told of how he used the topic during the week to push through walls of fear which had him stalled. In thinking about family he reached out to divine Mind for what the divine fact was behind what we call family. Even two or three days later he could not articulate what he saw, but felt himself suddenly emboldened and energized. He was able to make three phone calls previously unimaginable, in the areas of relationship, church work and business. all with startling results. Even when one of those called seemed to blow him off, he calmly assessed it as, "Well, that's family — this momentary lapse can certainly be forgiven in light of our common divine human-hood."

Other members told of recent interactions with biological families. One found himself bored and edgy trying to be pleasant with family members in settings which did not challenge or interest him. Another thought he had had a very productive visit with his family until he was alerted by an attack of hemorrhoids and a chest injury. He was able to use some insights from Chinese medicine — both problems indicated grief — and then get hold of a practitioner to help him pull out of it.

A couple of members wondered who would look after them in their old age. The outlook was bleak but another member told us of a woman he knows who worked all her life for her many children, showering them with gifts. As she aged she found she needed the money for her own housing and transportation. Now the kids never visit and she is alone in her nice house, driving the latest SUV.

From this we could see how foolish it would be to build our retirement on a lot of flimsy human calculations about family or its surrogates. The needs will be taken care of if we are truly living family as divine idea, neither leaning on others nor selfishly removing ourselves from them.

A member wanted to share with us the work he did on two news stories this week:

1) The Concorde crash: God does not know whether we're alive or dead; He just lives us all as divine idea. As we reflect Him in His knowledge, we too will be unable to say whether we or anyone else is dead or alive. Indeed, it won't matter in the least. Our member feels this revelation is a foretaste of our eventual leap beyond birth/death, the building blocks of mortality.

2) The Camp David talks were seen as a family matter. The return of the leaders to the Middle East was to gain support among the family subgroups for further progress. Ultimately security and well being are divine ideas, elements of the divine family "held in the gospel of Love".

A member approached the Clerk of The Mother Church several weeks ago about its policy on membership and employment of Gay men and Lesbians. This week, he received a reply which did not address these issues but did contain a thoughtful dissertation on homosexuality and heterosexuality, which are felt to be on equal footing spiritually. Neither is to be condemned but all should go to God — through prayer inspired by study of our textbooks — seeking growth beyond sexuality. This is certainly far beyond anything published to date in our church periodicals and we naturally wanted to make it available on our web site, but were asked by the administration not to do so. Anyone wishing to see a full statement should write the Clerk in Boston directly.

In a follow up phone call our member found the writer of the letter helpful. The Clerk cannot speak of employment by The Mother Church. On membership, of course, each applicant must be interviewed by someone who knows him and that person must obtain the signature of a Teacher of Christian Science, on the application.

There are a number of issues raised by the letter which we want to explore — e. g., is there an attempt at cultural erasure in reducing being Gay to mere homosexuality and then saying we all must rise above it? As the heterosexuals rise, will they let go of families and all the panoply of their culture? Also, how can we best get the word out to the field to call off the dogs? As many know we get people visiting our meetings all the time who have horror stories of a Branch Church, teacher or practitioner who has landed hard on them about their sexuality or affection-preference. And lots more. So we'll take the opportunity afforded by the arrival of this letter to look deeply into some issues around Church Membership.