"Hi, I was wondering if I can attend the meeting. I don't know much about Christian Science."

"Sure, come on in. We like newcomers. Just relax and ask any questions you have as we go along."

"Is it called Jesus Christ, Scientist?"

"No. Our churches are designated by numbers followed by 'Church of Christ, Scientist'. But the religion itself is called Christian Science."

"Is Jesus part of it?"

"Yes. We look to him as our way-shower. The founder of Christian Science was a 19th century American woman, Mary Baker Eddy. She discovered and taught what we consider Jesus's method of healing."

"Christian Science is applicable to all phases of existence on the basic principle that God is all — therefore evil is nothing."

"I was raised Catholic but now I'm involved in a fundamentalist Protestant religion. I can't take their homophobia anymore, so I'm looking at other religions. What do you all believe as Christian Scientists?"

"First let's be clear that our church has had severe problems in the past with homophobia. Things are better now — we're accepted in membership and there is an 'out' Lesbian teacher — but there are still areas of concern, particularly in local branches. As for what we believe, I'd say the central tenet is that God is infinite good and all-loving. Anything not in accord with Love, a synonym for God, is provably not real. Healings occur as we hold to the allness of good and the consequent nothingness of evil."

"How did you all get involved in Christian Science?"

"I was raised in Christian Science and my mother was a practitioner. But I still needed to make it my own."

"I was brought up a Protestant — my father was the minister. I got into Christian Science when I was 13. I met a woman who was filled with love — I just felt great in her presence. When I found out she was a Christian Scientist I started reading Science and Health, our textbook, and took to it right away. I thought, 'This woman is on the right track.'"

"My experience was similar. I was raised Catholic but met a Christian Scientist when I was 19. She told me about her religion and I'd stop by her job to talk. She was the night switchboard operator at a rough welfare hotel, but had time to read Science and Health and the Bible, and I'd sit there and do it with her. As the chaos of the hotel swirled around us, she'd say, 'All is well,' and we saw many healings of problems."

"Could you tell me how Christian Science heals?"

"There has to be a shift of thought or belief."

"Here's what happened to me once. My body was covered with a rash. I tried praying myself and using various lotions and salves — some prescribed by a doctor. Finally I went to a Christian Science practitioner."

"What's that?"

"It's someone who prays for you if you can't pray for yourself or feel you're in too much turmoil to do so."

"You mean one person's prayer can heal someone else?"

"Yes, indeed! Here's what happened. The practitioner I went to had such clarity of thought that he was able to see right through the problem. One instant I was in mental and physical turmoil and the next instant I was free. I actually shouted, 'I'm healed,' and within a day the whole rash cleared up."

"Now let's get into our topic, Lover. Does anyone want to talk about it?"

"Why don't you, since you requested it?"

"OK. It's kind of an antique term in this age of partners and spouses. As I worked on it during the week I realized how much baggage I'm carrying around. I mean, bitterly failed relationships unhealed, childhood issues still festering, and so on. Now that I've got a grasp on at least some of the problems, I certainly don't want to just push them down into the unconscious where they're free to really kick me in the butt. I'd like to heal them with Christian Science."

"There's so much insight in the Bible and Science and Health to heal broken relationships and the broken souls they leave in their wake. As Gay people we need to be careful not to buy into the homophobic readings of Scripture, which in themselves are just someone's unhealed troubles spayed upon an innocent world."

"Friends can do a lot to help us cope with loneliness. I used to run around with a group of very intimate friends. We'd snuggle and entwine our bodies in non-sexual ways that were very calming and nurturing. But you know I still wanted sexual union with a significant other."

"I really feel a deep drive or pull towards a lover type relationship."

"I had one for 26 years and it wasn't round the clock bliss. There were lots of problems and challenges. He died of AIDS in the early 80's and I haven't had sex with anyone since."

"Are you happy?"

"Yes, I think so. I've got Christian Science and that gives me lots of joy. Also I'm starting a new career in show business and can use the energy there. Still..."

"I suffered terribly from a series of relationships back in the 80's. When they were over I went into shutdown. I didn't want that kind of pain again. But recently I've at least started having sex again and now find I want more — I want to exchange love, to be in love, with another. Sex alone feels like a dead end to me, but paradoxically I don't think I would have come to that conclusion without having sex."

"It sounds like you agree with those teenage girls on Oprah who said a blow job administered to a date is far less intimate and threatening than a kiss."

"I understand completely. I have recently however been able to celebrate the good fortune of those friends who've gotten into relationships. I let the energy wash over me and don't withdraw into envious isolation or emit cynical remarks. I let their example inspire me."

"I read somewhere that we can't grow alone. We need others to help us find ourselves."

"Yes, and romance is a crash course in growth. Here are these two people from different backgrounds trying to get along — trying to deal."

"And let's face it, many of those in relationships retreat into a cocoon of comfort or calcified positions and don't grow."

"Maybe a spell of singlehood is the right prescription then."

"Can we tighten up the Science a bit? I sense we're drifting with popular aphorisms."

"OK. I was healed years ago of a tumor when I saw that my homosexual desires were God's love brought to the human level. I'd think the same principle could be brought to bear on the belief we're hobbled by past experiences. We can live in the now and reflect divine Love into any dark corners. Our Father will not give us a scorpion!"

"I like that. To the extent I'm letting bad memories and ridiculous expectations drive me, I can let divine Love do the driving and actually heal me."

"What do you mean by ridiculous expectations?"

"You know, I'm not sure. I think I mean I don't want a no-growth relationship. A therapist once said I had the love desires of a 3-month old baby after I'd gone on about perfect lovers and such."

"Did that therapist have any knowledge of Christian Science? How was he as a person?"

"No, he had no understanding of Christian Science — although he thought he did. It was like warmed-over Episcopalian-ism — lots of stiff upper lip! As a person he was pretty bitter and shaming."

"Well, I think you just cleared away that impediment to love."

"We can't do any better than just be who we are. Desire is so beautiful. Our desire to share love with another is a holy impulsion and we need to treat it seriously and prayerfully."

"I find myself turned on by the beauty of men hundreds of times daily. It's compulsive and I'm sure it's keeping me from deeper ways of relating to people."

"Maybe it is in itself really a deeper call to infinite Love — to be Love, the Love that includes all. I think a lot of Gay men are moved by beauty and we can let the underlying desires expand into infinity."

"That reminds me of the play I Am My Own Wife. When the protagonist said that sentence, I thought of Mrs. Eddy's statements on page 249 of Science and Health (see Readings) about the male and female of God's creating. To me both the play and the textbook are saying each one of us is infinite substance filling infinite space."

"I'd like to talk about my situation. I'm dating a Gay man and I'm basically a Lesbian. I do like to have sex with men but my romantic feelings run to women."

"Maybe dating a Gay man gives you the best of both worlds — a male sex partner who's sensitive."

"Do I sense a stereotype here?"

"No, it's true. He is sensitive and good at sex."

"Just be sure he's not on the down low."

"I don't see that as a threat. We're pretty open about our feelings. The problem we're having is with Gay and non-Gay friends. They want us to fall into some kind of proper category."

"Look at Matthew 19 sometime. Jesus gives his endorsement to many varieties of relationships. Each person is a sexuality unto himself. Go with what you feel."

"Hebrew and Greek mythology contain plenty of models of romance and sexuality. Achilles and Patroclus represent warrior love while Heracles and Ilus are all about muscular, heroic love. David and Jonathan are intimate lovers. Naomi and Ruth do the hearth thing, while Paul and Timothy act out the senex-puer archetype. Why, we even have Jacob and the angel for those given to one night stands."

"What if you're attracted to younger men and friends and therapists warn you of the dangers. Often they have someone picked out for me — of my own age. They even ask what I could possibly talk to a younger man about after the orgasm."

"First, I'd pay no attention to such nonsense. If these relationships are wrong for you you'll get it through suffering or Science. Why not take the case out of the court of matter and put it in the court of Spirit. Human advice about realistic goals is a counterfeit for divine Reality. Let decisions proceed from the one cause and effect."

"It occurs to me that we should make human relationships secondary to the one great relationship — with God."

"I got a call from a member who recently broke up with her girlfriend on just this issue. The girlfriend was constantly dissatisfied with the amount of time and sex our member was sharing with her. There was lots of pouting and manipulation. Our member realized it was beginning to cut into her relationship with God, so she sadly had to end things."

"Our time is up for this week. We need a topic for next time."

"Listen, I really want to thank you all for being so kind to me. I hope I didn't throw a monkey wrench into things as a Lesbian dating a Gay man."

"We love stuff like that. We're glad you came. You added a lot to the meeting. I hope you'll come back next week."

"Topic anyone?"

"I like monkey wrench."

"How about Epiphany?"

"What is it?"

"It's the Greek word for monkey wrench."

"I believe I'd check a dictionary."

"Is Epiphany OK?"

"Yes."

"Yes."