"This is a little off-topic but I spent yesterday on the phone with four different people at The Mother Church trying to find out whether 'The Christian Science Standard of Sexual Morality' in the Christian Science Journal of October 1973 is still in force. As you can imagine, homosexuality is ruled out along with sexual freedom, sexual liberation and group sex."

"What about the animals?"

"They are not mentioned — so they're free to do as they please."

"Isn't this the Christian Science Board's pronouncement — reprinted later in booklet form?"

"Yes. Just the right size to slip in your purse for those trying moments."

"It's found its way into employment forms at headquarters. Employees must swear they'll adhere to its provisions."

"Well — what did your Mother Church people say?"

"They kept handing me over to someone else till I got tired of being bounced around. No one could say whether the statement was still applicable. One woman said, 'We've grown since then,' to which I eagerly responded, 'Then it's void.' 'Oh, no, no, no — I wouldn't say that.' She asked if I was a Christian Scientist and I asked what difference that made, but yes I am — so she said, 'Go to your Science and Health,' to which I replied I often do and could find nothing resembling the materialistic carryings-on set forth in the Board's statement. I also questioned their avoidance of the Golden Rule. That's when she passed me on to someone else."

"Let's face it — no one short of the Board can say anything really. They'll eventually have to retract the statement."

"Yes, but I guess they won't as long as they have right-wing members breathing down their necks."

"What we and the Church need is a modern re-statement or series of articles on sexuality in light of Christian Science — its promise of oneness, wholeness, completeness. What is the purpose of human activity — how does it fit into Christian Science practice? Is it all just mortal mind's doing or might it hint at something grander? Aren't Christian Scientists equipped to undertake this work?"

"In a word — no! Not in our current hypnotic state. There's too much good and evil, black and white thinking. Until we can see sex as a symbol of a divine idea we'll just have to do the best we can and hope for a slowly improving atmosphere, perhaps some affirmation here, a bit of support there and so on."

"Well I for one intend to keep pushing. It's totally unacceptable that our Church should treat any group as they now treat Gay people."

"I agree. But even if we're fully affirmed any articles in the periodicals would be pretty watered down. They'd never get to the stuff I want to explore with others."

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know — say, masochism as language for surrender to Deity. Or cruising the sacred precincts of Sodom as a trip through the unconscious to God. Or fornication as idolatry or maybe homosexuality itself as symbol for the homo-being of God as man, one substance."

"Sounds like a spectacular Sentinel issue to me — but don't hold your breath."

"Now let's get into our topic, Memories. We did this once before ([#topic=20010802#], August 2, 2001) but I don't think we touched on something fundamental there. We did discuss the various forms and meanings of historical memory but overlooked the metaphysical sense of remembering who we are — our spiritual identity."

"The thing I tried to watch this week was how I base decisions on memories of historical incidents. Why drag all that around? Why not acknowledge past difficulties — or elations — but then refer the current situation to God? I started asking, 'What does God see or say here?'"

"That's truly radical reliance, or getting back to the roots of motive and action rather than just letting memories control. That approach would handle unconscious memories as well as those which are apparent."

"What about loss of memory? It's a big bugaboo today as people age."

"I think memory loss is like any other loss — it's based on a material supposition of deteriorating brain or memory banks. I just know as Mind and the information is there. I used this thought in dance class today. At first I felt I didn't remember all the steps. When I let myself be Mind, everything fell into place."

"I want to talk about letting go of a whole set of bad memories and gripes that were keeping me apart from my sister. She was suffering from similar feelings about me and we didn't speak for over twenty years. Her son recently got married and I was invited. I went with some trepidation but in the end, there we were, sitting side by side. I've decided I want a sister and she apparently has decided she does too. None of the old stuff came up — we'll just build from here."

"That's beautiful! It reminds me of something a member told me during the week. She was feeling emotional and physical pain around the relationship with her girlfriend and couldn't seem to figure out what it was about. At one point she came close to talking and processing it with her girlfriend but suddenly realized the discomfort and its causes were entirely historical. She thought, 'Let me talk instead with my shrink and with people in the group. I can work it through that way."

"What came up?"

"Well a lot of painful childhood abandonment issues — her father left before she was born and her mother was an alcoholic. Once she identified and felt the feelings she saw clearly she mustn't wallow in them. She has decided to practice meditation along the lines recommended by Joel Goldsmith, dwelling on divine reality. She has done this several times this week and invariably comes out of the meditation feeing warm, connected and filled with joy. Think of how much more fun she'll have in her life and with everyone after these spiritual experiences, as opposed to some haggard, accusatory lurch at people based on bad memories."

"That tracks almost exactly what happened with me over the weekend. I went upstate to spend some time with my father. It's hard to do because we share sad memories of my mother's and sister's suicides. Also he's homophobic — always on my case to go straight or at least stay deeply closeted. He wanted to discuss his will and that added another level of turmoil. I really had to stay centered in my true being. Every time I felt myself slipping into memories or stories I was telling myself about memories, I'd pull myself back to my divinity. After some practice it became easier and eventually I could see myself and my life as derived from and moved by God alone. I could see this for my father too. So it turned out to be a wonderful learning occasion and when I got back to the city on Monday I had one of the best meditations ever. From the marrow of my bones outward golden light radiated. Later that day a friend said he could see my aura!"

"Let's close a little early so we can see Kerry's speech. We can watch it at our restaurant while we eat. Are there any suggestions for next week's topic?"

"How about anticipation? Memories are about the past — anticipation relates to the future."

"Would you settle for expectation? A practitioner once told me we should have expectation in our work."

"That's fine."

"So, it's Expectation?"

"Yes."

"Good."