"We've never done this topic directly."

"I found a lot of references in the Archives — but you're right, no topic per se."

"I wonder why. We all seem to be constantly struggling with relationships — and not just boyfriends either."

"When two or more humans meet, it's a minefield. Anyway, let's get right into healing approaches."

"What occurs to me is the idea that since God is both noumenon and phenomenon, what we call relationships is basically God in action. Properly seen, He's doing the whole thing. That means we have to cut through the dualistic appearances."

"That's good! The underlying or pre-existent reality is God, good. We should depend on that fact and not rest our hopes on good people or conditions."

"Well it's natural to look for signs of good appearing, but a friend says I often romanticize relationships. I kind of see them through a scrim of naivete. I suppose I thought that was Christian Science."

"It's a mistake we all make. Mrs. Eddy made it, church members make it — and suffering is the antidote. 'He's so good' means someone else is so bad — or else he's just showing us his good side so far. Or maybe I'll go off the tracks — I'll be the hodgepodge of good and evil."

"Aren't we supposed to bring out good in our application of Science?"

"Sure — based on perfect God and perfect man, not the heap of material beliefs calling itself man."

"So how do we work in Science to get to perfect God, man and relationships?"

"I think your noumenon-phenomenon model is a good way to approach it."

"There are many ways to get there. God and His infinite idea, man and he universe, is one. Love alone governs man is another. These are statements from Mrs. Eddy's writings. But we have to really see and adhere to the Principle indicated there. We have to be it!"

"I was at a very contentious meeting last week among some Jungians. I stayed quiet and tried to realize one Mind at work. Suddenly one of the others said ' Look — we're all Jungians here, so any hostility is just projection.'."

"Meaning?"

"It was all our own internal wickedness sprayed out on the others. Everyone gulped hard. Then the atmosphere changed and progress was made on real issues."

"Well, I hope everyone there was able to face up to their wickedness and heal it. In other words they didn't just swallow it in shame and act nice."

"I can't say for sure but there was a palpable feeling of relaxation and health. You've got a good point though — we certainly don't need people repressing their mortality and letting it out later in a more monstrous form."

"I wonder if we've hit on a possible problem with systems, however valuable, that don't go all the way to radical healing. Let me read something from Mrs. Eddy's autobiography: 'It is well to know, dear reader, that our material, mortal history is but the record of dreams, not of man's real existence, and the dream has no place in the Science of being. It is "as a tale that is told,"and "as the shadow when it declineth."The heavenly intent of earth's shadows is to chasten the affections, to rebuke human consciousness and turn it gladly from a material, false sense of life and happiness, to spiritual joy and true estimate of being'(Ret 21: 13-20). I love it because it covers the gamut. If I'm haunted by bad relationships in the past or the present, I have to challenge the dualistic appearance and live the reality."

"Great! Let's work on some of our haunted areas.""Before we start on our own stuff, I loved that 11 year old kid on Sentinel Radio who was being bullied at school. He told his mother and she suggested he find something good about the boy. He said 'Well, he has nice hair.' Then later he was impressed with how kindly the boy treated his friends. Of course, the kid and his mother prayed about the situation and eventually the two boys became best friends."

"I heard that testimony too. It was from England."

"Yes. The thing that stood out to me was how negative my reaction probably would have been to the guy's hair and his treatment of friends. Like, 'God, his hair's so wonderful — why would he want me as a friend?' and ' Look how he treats them — why not me?' It was real eye-opener to my general psychological slant."

"But don't leave it there! So what if your history has left you gnarled? It's not you. That's a dualistic image of you that can be dislodged by the reality."

"Right! An inner bully is claiming presence, taking a healing insight and beating me over the head with it. I'd rather rejoice in being subject to the divine powers that be."

"I'm finding, particularly in this area — but really in all areas where healing is needed — the less personal sense the better. If there's a problem then there's some metaphysical error claiming presence. Find that, correct it and don't attach it to yourself or to the other person."

"I've got these two people in my life. I love and crave one of them but he doesn't want me that way. The other one, a woman, digs me and is all over me even though I've told her clearly I'm Gay and I'm just not attracted to her."

"Okay — spot the errors — false attraction...'

"I'd go deeper. Use the noumenon-phenomenon model. God's attracted to Himself as I, Us. I see all of you as unique and pre-existently satisfied with being the Being in expression."

"I've been having problems with church members. I guess I was on kind of a pink cloud right after I joined but eventually some pretty unattractive personalities erupted."

"Whose — theirs or yours?"

"Well, I'd like to say theirs — but thanks. I guess I'd been judging them too."

"I tell you honestly the quickest way to heal personality conflicts is to cut right through them as fast as possible."

"Tell us how you'd do that."

"Refuse the belief! 'Don't go there' as they say. Don't start weaving stories and theories. Go right to the Truth — like there's just one Person, God, infinitely reflected as us all. Stick with that."

"You can't heal Genesis II without a firm grip on Genesis I ."

"Thank God I'm pretty much over the obsession with my ex and his new boyfriend. We worked on it here in the group and I've now got some new friends and groups that are expanding my horizons. So, I'm in a much better place than I was a few months back.

"But now I've got something going on with my landlord. He's trying to get me to move with some really foolish tactics. I prayed with a member of the group and saw a lawyer who's writing a letter pointing to his 'mischievous and frivolous actions'. It cost me some money for the lawyer but it looks like I'm okay. I just hope it doesn't sour my relationship with the landlord."

"Spiritually you are 100% secure in your home — which is heaven and that's the only home there is."

"For the landlord too — it's his home and well-being too.""I can use that idea with something I became aware of yesterday. I noticed I have a negative reaction to men I find attractive. Can you imagine? No wonder I don't get the relationships I want. I think it extends to non romantic, non sexual attractions too — like someone's successful or famous."

"Can you figure out what's going on?"

"Sort of. It's a left-over from childhood and adolescence. I envied the cute guys — or the athletes. Or those with social skills. I was an awkward fat blob. When the gay element kicked in, I became afraid of others — that I'd get beaten up or shouted at — or just shunned in a small tight community of very self-conscious folks."

"Whoa — you're really being hard on yourself!"

"And there's more. At the present time, I seem to value a cool, serene facade. Unruly feelings — like a sexual attraction — need to be repressed and it's uncomfortable. That traces back to the same roots but it's compounded by Christian Science culture."

"You mean like empty staring off into space."

"I see that all the time in New York. I'm above all this — even if I'm seething inside."

"Well, back to a healing strategy. What we've been saying about infinite individuality permeating all relationships feels like the right detergent to rinse the past away with. Man as infinite idea including all right ideas is all there is to relationships."

"I love it! Genesis I flooding through Genesis II to clear away the dualism."

"Listen to this: 'When we realize that Life is Spirit, never in nor of matter, this understanding will expand into self-completeness, finding all in God, good, and needing no other consciousness' (S&H 264: 15-19)."

"What about the guy with the bomb in his pants?"

"I haven't seen him lately."

"Huh?"

"He means the guy that tried to blow up the plane."

"Well, its a relationship. What would you say?"

"Will we have to start taking off our underpants to get through security?"

"This is an example of extreme dualism. How many more restrictions will we need to get a feeling of security? Obviously some metaphysical insight is urgently needed.."

"That would be quite a process — to get not only Muslims to sign on but Christian America — no way! "

"There's no need to sign anybody up. We're the practitioners on the case. We can do it."

"We can't treat them."

"Oh right. We'll just let the world go up in flames."

"Jesus didn't heal everyone."

"But he did say we should do greater works than he did. Anyway here's something Mrs. Eddy said in Science and Health: 'During this final conflict, wicked minds will endeavor to find means by which to accomplish more evil; but those who discern Christian Science will hold crime in check. They will aid in the ejection of error. They will maintain law and order, and cheerfully await the certainty of ultimate perfection' (S&H 96: 31-4)."

"Our time is running out but I think we have a topic here."

"Like safety or security?"

"Good — which one?"

"I like security."

"Is that okay with everyone?"

"It's fine. We won't meet January 7th or 14th but we'll take up again on the 21st. So it'll be our topic for a month."

"Okay then. Security — but cheerfully!"